Revised poem...please edit?

This is a poem about my heroine in my book-her name is Amethyst, and she is a vampire.

To save her world, she has to kill herself, killing with her the evil Pain, Misery, Deception, Envy and Despair.

This is about her journey to her death.

Silence.

Bordered by fear.

Pain closing in,

I'm fearing the worst.

Darkness blurs into grey

The stars i can't see shimmer

I close my eyes

And try to cry.

No tears come

I was made to fight

Made to take the Pain

Misery

Deception

Envy

and Despair

Life did not belong to me

It never will

Love will never triumph.

How can love exist,

In one who has never felt it?

I hope someone can save me.

Anyone.

But there is no-one there

To hold my cold hand

Death is standing,

Waiting,

With open arms.

Beckoning to me,

To walk to him.

Blue Eyed Death,

Forever chasing,

Never catching.

Till now.

Pain is fading...

Leaving you is pain enough

What do you think?

Please note:i am only a fourteen yr old girl.

XD

Revised poem...please edit?systemworks

i think that it is good but it needs tying together to be able to bring it from the beginning to the end. Try some repitition in words or phrases. but, it is a poem so it's supposed to be how you want it not someone else